| now is | once was | came from | heard tell |

12:58 p.m. - 2004-06-11

Rose-coloured

Ah this bartender, she makes me giddy, yes she does. Giggly and wiggly and foolish. I suppose that at the start of the last time I was also giddy and foolish but it feels even more so this time. Perhaps because I am no longer reeling with gut-deep pain from The Big Butch Ex break-up the way I was when we first began dating. Because I have more confidence in myself, more conviction that I am worth seeing people who are wonderful. She seems happier too, incredibly relaxed and funny and silly. She seems to be hesitating right before having the, "uh, so, what..?" conversation and I am letting her. Last night she had her arms closed tight over my rib cage and asked if I was happy, which I think was quite enough. I do not want to push this with her, not at all. I am revelling far too much in this giddy sparkling feeling like champagne bubbles in my brain.

Which is silly because I should be writing essays! Yes! There should be none of this kisses and cuddles and warm skin and suchlike, it is terribly unproductive! I didn't go to uni today, which is terrible. It was the last class of one my subjects, I was supposed to hand in an essay. I will have to think of a bad excuse and email it to my lecturer. Argh. But… my willpower is not strong when there are arms wrapped around me and it's warm and comfortable and it is far too early in the morning. So we went and had breakfast instead at a little local café and she walked me home. She lives crazily close by, we are neighbours. You can see my house from her house. This was entirely accidental, she assures me.

If I finish submitting my essay properly she has promised to take me shopping, so best I get to it then!

- |+

[Phone Home] - 2005-02-22

[She hurts, even from here, she hurts.] - 2005-02-11

[Two weeks and counting] - 2005-01-31

[Dirty] - 2005-01-20

[Here Now] - 2005-01-18